紐約時報十五問:關于婚姻的事情總是要想一下的

1. 我們要不要孩子？如果要，主要由誰來負責？ 

Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver? 

2. 我們的家庭賺錢能力及目標是什么？消費觀及儲蓄觀會不會發生沖突？ 

Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3. 我們的家庭如何維持？由誰來掌握可能出現的風險? 

Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4. 我們有沒有詳盡地交換過雙方的疾病史？包括精神上的. 

Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? 

5. 我們父母的態度有沒有達到我們的預期？會不會給足夠的祝福？ 

Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6. 我們有沒有自然、坦誠地說出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐懼？ 

Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears? 

7. 臥室能放電視機嗎？ 

Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8. 我們真的能傾聽對方訴說，并公平對待對方的想法和抱怨嗎？ 

Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9. 我們清晰地了解對方的精神需求及信仰嗎？我們討論過孩子將來的信仰問題嗎？ 

Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10. 我們喜歡并尊重對方的朋友嗎？ 

Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11. 我們能不能看重并尊敬對方的父母？我們有沒考慮到父母可能會干涉我們的關系？ 

Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12. 我的家庭最讓你心煩的事情是什么？ 

What does my family do that annoys you?

13. 我們永遠不會因為婚姻放棄的東西是什么？ 

 Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14. 如果我們中的一人需要離開其家族所在地陪同另一個人到外地工作，做得到嗎？ 

 If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15. 我們是不是充滿信心面對任何挑戰使婚姻一直往前走？ 

Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?